Free up time for the couple. The recipe? Allow yourself moments of “complicity and connection”. The sexologist here refers to these “quality times, every day”, against a backdrop of sharing. “Intimacy is cultivated in everyday gestures and in the mundane.” Once again, this involves marking down time: “for example, blocking off slots to have a drink in a bar, or dinner at a restaurant. These moments of sharing will be favorable to sexual intimacy,” she emphasizes.
Talk sexuality… outside of bed! Communication therefore, “but not only during moments of sexual intimacy”, she insists. The challenge is not to make this subject a taboo. “The less we talk about it, the more it can become a somewhat hovering shadow over the relationship,” adds the specialist. These times of discussion will thus “reduce apprehensions and identify areas for improvement”.
Reconnect with sensuality. She highlights the benefits of “non-sexual physical contact”: hugs, caresses, massages, etc. Enough to also reduce apprehensions when physical contact begins to date… For Emma Puech-Hélin, “reconnecting with touch also makes it possible to project oneself towards sexuality more easily”.
Fantasize! Recreate “an erotic imagination, allow yourself to fantasize,” she calls. “And why not from readings, films, with a little eroticism.” So many supports that can help revive desire. Alone then and why not together? And since we’re talking about both partners, what if you arranged to meet? In a restaurant for example, after each of you has made a special effort in terms of preparation or dress. For Emma Puech-Hélin, the goal remains “to allow ourselves to also experience this erotic bond”. Being seductive and thus creating a “very pleasant erotic tension which is at the foundation of sexuality”.
Consult… When? “From the moment we feel uncomfortable in our sexuality, in the presence of parasitic thoughts, apprehensions, ruminations throughout the day. Or of course conflicts, tensions or any other negative emotions,” adds the sexologist and pharmacist. The challenge therefore remains to be supported “to make communication more fluid and to review the obstacles that affect desire and, perhaps, to find the accelerators of this desire”, she concludes.
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