Consent is a notion widely used in contemporary public debates, but its definition often remains vague. Depending on the field in which it is approached (legal, philosophical or educational), it does not refer to the same realities. It is a polysemous concept whose meanings vary depending on the context.
Let us look at the way in which this notion is used in the school context, more precisely in education for emotional life, relationships and sexuality (EVARS) in France. The work of researchers Béatrice de Montigny and Marie-Hélène Brunet shows that, in the educational field, consent goes beyond just the sexual dimension: it refers to learning to respect oneself and others, the ability to express one’s limits and recognize those of others.
In EVARS programs, this concept is introduced from kindergarten and gradually declined throughout school. It covers several learnings: respecting the refusal of others, knowing how to say no, understanding that their refusal must be respected, not feeling obliged to accept a gesture of affection, asking permission before touching someone or identifying trusted adults. Students are also invited to recognize their emotions and express their preferences in everyday interactions.
This learning is part of a logic of prevention of sexist and sexual violence and protection of children in view of the statistics on the knowledge and level of information of the French on the subject. Since the generalization of the EVARS program at the start of the 2025 school year (recalled in Official Bulletin No. 6 of February 6, 2025), the question arises, however, of how this notion is concretely addressed in classes and how teachers adapt it to the different ages of students. students.
The examples presented here are based on research work carried out as part of my doctorate, based on more than 130 observations of classroom sessions and 55 interviews with teachers and educational staff, which illustrate the way in which consent is worked on in primary school even if it is is not exhaustive.
Consent from cycle 1: naming your body
In cycle 1, that is to say in kindergarten, learning consent begins with knowledge of the body and the idea that “my body belongs to me”. This step is essential to allow children to identify their bodily limits and, if necessary, to report violent situations. As Lolita Rivé points out in the podcast What is love, mistress? a child cannot denounce sexual violence if he does not have the words to name his body.
To do this, teachers use educational materials such as body puzzles or anatomical images to teach students to identify different parts of the body and to use the appropriate terms, including for the genitals (“penis”, “vulva”). Educational tools, such as the consent lottery, also make it possible to address bodily limits, emotions and respect for others.
These activities aim above all to build the first bases of consent: understanding that certain parts of the body are intimate and that everyone has the right to refuse physical contact.
Cycle 2: emotions and empathy through consent
In cycle 2, from CP to CE2, this learning continues and is enriched. Teachers rely more on students’ representations to construct the concept. Some start by asking what “consent” means. For example, students bring up the idea of ”asking before doing something”, such as touching a classmate’s hair. This representation is similar to the definition proposed by the philosopher Anne-Lyse Chabert, for whom consent is based on a relationship of trust: on the one hand, the confidence of the person who takes the initiative to ask and ensures that the other has understood and, on the other hand, that of the person who accepts and authorizes access to their personal space or privacy.
Consent is also linked to emotions and feelings. Students think about what a person might feel when their boundaries are not respected: sadness, anger, or feeling ignored. This reflection makes it possible to introduce the notion of empathy, that is to say the ability to put oneself in the place of others and to take into account their feelings.
Educational materials can accompany these discussions, in particular explanatory videos, such as those of Maître Lucas, which concretely illustrate the situations where it is necessary to ask for the agreement of others in daily interactions.
Cycle 3: preventing sexual violence and incest
In cycle 3, consent education takes on a more explicit prevention dimension. Teachers and school nurses are addressing gender-based and sexual violence more in order to give students benchmarks before they enter college.
Video supports allow certain situations to be collectively analyzed. In a first sketch, a coach asks a student to give him a massage while they find themselves alone in the locker room. Students identify several warning signals: isolation, the insistence of an adult and the request for physical contact.
Another video, A not so nice uncleaddresses domestic sexual violence. The students observe a little girl forced to accompany her uncle despite his refusal and evoking a “secret”. Analysis of the scene helps explain that an adult does not have the right to impose an intimate gesture on a child and that these acts are prohibited and punished by law.
However, these discussions require pedagogical precautions, because not all students have the same level of understanding. The teachers therefore rephrase with appropriate words in order to explain the situation without offending certain children.
Consent in everyday actions
Consent education is thus approached progressively from kindergarten to CM2 and then continues in middle and high school as part of the EVARS programs, with content adapted to the age of the students. Discussions can then focus on more complex situations, such as consent in romantic relationships or in online exchanges with “nudes ”.
Beyond the school, several associations also participate in this awareness raising. The Papillons association intervenes in establishments thanks to mailboxes allowing children to anonymously report violence. The EgaliGone institute offers awareness-raising conferences, while the “keys to consent” tool, developed by L’Effet Papillon, supports education professionals in addressing these questions.
Finally, consent is not limited to sexual matters. It is also learned in everyday gestures: asking before touching someone, respecting a refusal or accepting that a friend does not want to give a kiss or a hug. These ordinary learnings often constitute the first bases of a culture of respect and consent.
