Forget ‘opposites attract’! New research from the University of Missouri, studying the Himba people in Namibia, reveals that people with similar levels of desirability are more likely to form successful relationships. This study, focusing on actual behavior rather than just stated preferences, suggests that matching ‘mate value’ is key to lasting partnerships, challenging common romantic notions.
For centuries, people have told stories about how ‘opposites attract’. But what does science actually say? Research from the University of Missouri suggests these relationships might be best left to the movies. The findings are published in Science Advances.
What science says about attraction The researchers found that similarly desirable people are more likely to enter into a relationship and experience success within that relationship. To understand the role of desirability in a relationship, Sean Prall, an assistant professor of anthropology in the College of Arts and Sciences, traveled to northwest Namibia in southern Africa to study the behavior of the Himba, a group of semi-nomadic agro-pastoralists. He estimated a ‘mate value’ based on the desirability perceived by individuals in the community and analyzed their relationship status. The study showed that people with similar mate values were more likely to enter into a relationship with each other, leading to better relationship outcomes.
Prall’s observations reveal a stark difference from most research on desirability, focusing on people’s actions rather than their preferences influenced by societal norms. The study emphasizes the importance of real behavior over stated preferences when it comes to successful relationships.
Real behavior vs stated preferences Before the COVID-19 pandemic in 2019, Prall and his fellow researcher, Brooke Scelza, studied human behavior by living with Himba pastoralists in Namibia. The research spanned over five years and covered various aspects including marriage, parenting decisions, child health, food insecurity, and partner choices. Prall believes that these findings can apply to a broader context beyond the specific population, highlighting the significance of partnering within one’s community based on real interactions rather than online connections.
These findings challenge the common notion of ‘opposites attract’ and shed light on the importance of matching mate values for successful and lasting relationships.
